I have left the familiar.

I am wandering free in a wide open meadow. Fields and fields of new experiences roll out in front of me for as far as my eyes can see, endless opportunities awaiting me. Light illuminates everything my eyes touch. This place is radiant with light, with hope. The ground is soft beneath my naked feet, welcoming thoughts of forward motion. The air is crisp, light, fresh. Each inhale yields overwhelming peace and abundant life as my lungs are filled with pure oxygen. The stillness of this place is like beautiful music, stirring within me powerful, raw emotion and awakening in me a sense of purpose.

My eyes are open. My mind is waking. My heart is coming alive again.

I have left the familiar.

No longer am I trapped in the confines of my past. No longer am I caged by exhausted emotions, exhausted experiences, exhausted options. No longer am I locked in chains of bad habits and closed-minded ways of thinking. The possibilities are endless outside the familiar. The freedom found outside the familiar is exhilirating. Each step I take away from the familiar is met with more life. I am finally breathing again.

I have left the familiar.

It is not, however, only freedom and life that I encounter outside the familiar. Dark forces are at work in this new world filled with wonder and light. Daily I wrestle with demons of doubt and fear. Daily guilt wraps its long, sneaky fingers around my neck and attempts to strangle me. I constantly hear voices that tell me I am wrong, that I’ve made a mistake, that I’ll never make it. These voices tell me to give up, to return to the familiar… and they have a very convincing argument. Some days I almost listen to them, but then I hear a whisper in my ear. It reminds me that I was made for this. It reminds me that the freedom and light found outside the familiar is worth the fight.

So I do not go back.

I have left the familiar.

But the familiar is not a place. Nor is the unfamiliar. They are merely states of mind, ways of living. Regardless of where I am, I can be in one place or I can be in the other. It is a choice I make. I decide. I decide to sulk in the familiar or rejoice in the unfamiliar. I decide to stumble in darkness or dance in light. I decide to suffocate in exhaustion or breathe in new life.

And I choose light. I choose freedom. I choose life.

I will walk in the unfamiliar and daily fight the voices, and I will stay in the light.